Eclipse

Eclipse, as captured by Kathy Carney

The eclipse that happened a few days ago, which stopped the US and gave us pause to consider the magnitude of the universe and the minuscule-ness of our own lives, had a profound effect on many who witnessed it. Misty-eyed newscasters could barely contain their emotions as they described the event.

Eclipses might be viewed as a reset button. One can’t help but reflect on one’s life, how fleeting it really is, and perhaps ask the question, have I done the things I’ve needed to do?

I remember my first eclipse. We didn’t have cool glasses like the ones available these days. Instead, we had a box with a hole in it, and we looked in the box as the moon moved its way in front of the sun. It was not nearly as awe-inspiring as looking at it through cool glasses, but still impressive.

Have you ever been in an eclipse but didn’t realize it was going on? The sky begins to darken, and the birds and animals stop what they’re doing, and an eerie feeling tugs at the edges of your knowing. It’s hard not to look within and observe our failings, or missteps. A chill can accompany it, as well as a feeling of being alone. Just when we feel we couldn’t be more alone, the moon continues its path, the skies begin to brighten, and the sun begins to warm us once again. Maybe it’s God’s way of saying, “I’m here. Even though you can’t see me, even though there is darkness, I am with you. I see you. Trust in me. I am the light that shines within you. There is nothing to fear.”

After my best friend, who was also my next-door neighbor and cousin, died at age nine, I felt the darkness. The entire community felt the darkness. How could one so young be taken back up to God? She had just gotten to earth. She was joy and brightness rolled up in a beautiful package of a brown-haired, blue-eyed, enormous-hearted girl. Our lives would never be the same when she left, almost fifty years ago.

After her death, her mom (another mother to me) gave me a prayer card. The prayer card has sat on my dresser all these years. The card has yellowed, and the edges are torn, but the words hold firm. Those words have given me hope when it seemed as if despair was the only option. Those words have offered me a sense of peace and faith that everything would be okay. Those words have given me strength and courage when most needed. Even though the card is currently in storage, soon enough it will be unpacked and take its place on my dresser. I don’t need to have the card to know what it says. I memorized it and I carry it in my heart along with the precious memories of my friend.

God make me brave. Help me strengthen after pain as a tree strengthens after rain.

God make me brave. As the blown grass lifts, let me rise with quiet eyes, knowing thy way is wise.

God, life brings such blinding things. Help me to keep my sight, help me to see aright, that out of dark comes light.

I’ve heard it said that we die two deaths. The first is when we physically die, and the second is when our name, our life, is no longer remembered. As we approach the fiftieth anniversary of this very special person, may we remember all those who have passed before us. May we recall the light and brightness they brought to our world, and may we be grateful for the moments we shared with them, no matter how brief.

God, may we also remember that you are the true light in our lives, driving away the darkness and seeing us as bright, sparkling souls who are called to make a difference in the world.